2500!!

I have hit 2500 on my visitor meter. Which, is absolutely amazing to me. For months I watched the meter inch up one and two visitors a day and then boom - suddenly the thing is just jumping on me. I just wish I knew who was stopping by. Anyway - Hi to all of you - Thanks for visiting me.

Yahoo!! I just finished my work project and have emailed it off. I will probably have edits over the next couple of days - but nothing like I have been working the last few days to finish it. I am glad to have a little bit of work and of course the $ that comes with it - but boy have the last few weeks been crazy with everything else going on.

Tomorrow I have a group coming over to my house to do some Chinese New Year crafts. In the morning I must clean!! It is amazing what happens to the house when I spend two days on the computer. I went back to put the girls to bed tonight and there were toys and clothing (clean and dirty) spread all over their room. And this is with almost half their stuff packed up. Our kitchen table is covered with printouts of houses that we have been weeding through and newspapers I have been saving to pack with.

Today we also finished up MB's month-long Tuesday science class at a local museum. She has really enjoyed the class, and I have enjoyed the time that we spent together at the museum. I am so very, very pleased with how well the little ones have done with their 'down' time at the museum. Thankfully it is a children's museum and does have areas for preschoolers to 'play'. But not having the class will let us get back to our more normal routine, especially concerning my meeting schedule. That has taken the worst hit with all the craziness this past month. My attendance has been sketchy and I am really missing the grounding I receive from going. But next week things should be more relaxed, for at least a few weeks.

MB and I are enjoying our new science and history 'units'. We are focusing on Ancient China and the Human Body. This is one of the first times that I have found MB to be really into what we are studying. Wanting to find and track down more information. We are having conversations at different times and out-of-the-blue about them. Generally, it seems to me MB merely tolerates most of these 'units' at best. Some of the books we are using are:
Ancient China:
Discoveries - Ancient China (Barnes & Noble book)
Look What Came From China
Houses of China
Ma Jiang and the Orange Ants
The Five Chinese Brothers
The Story About Ping
Tikki Tikki Tembo

Human Body:
Discoveries - Human Body
Looking into My Body
The Magic School Bus: Inside the Human Body
I Wonder Why I Blink
Why Do Some Kids Have Freckles

One of the neat things we are going to be doing is putting together the plastic human body model that MB received for Christmas as we go through the various body systems.

And, while I am on the topic of how well MB is doing with her schoolwork, I also need to mention how grown-up she seems to be getting recently. How mature some of our conversations are becoming. Today in the car she started a conversation about The Jungle Book. The conversation ended up moving into a conversation about how sometimes when you love something/someone you have to "send it away" or set it free for its own good, even if you don't want to do it. I guess I would have thought that this conversation would be way over her head, but she seemed to get it. Especially since we used The Jungle Book as the example.

Yesterday we saw an ad for the new Curious George movie that is going to be released next month. K was excited and wants to go see it. She really enjoys the older movie that I bought on the cheap DVD rack several months ago. Something that I found interesting in the preview of the new movie is that it is stated that George stows-away to come with the man, as opposed to the book and older movie in which he is captured and brought over. I guess "P.C." has to even reach into the depths of a children's classic like that.

I just have to say how very blessed I have been feeling in all this craziness of activity. And it realy isn't only about the last month, but the last four or five months. I am blessed in being able to watch my girls grow, learn and mature. Maturity and attitude changes especially in the two older ones. I would say that with MB it was all about getting some age on her - but it is K too. And I realize that as I am slowly growing and changing how I see and respond to the girls is changing and they are changing. We actually have manners and sharing going on. The girls still squabble and push each others buttons, but more and more often they are making up and doing things together. One can't stand it if the other one earns a timeout, even if it is for doing something to the other one, and they beg me to let the other one out of timeout. Tonight we asked both K and MB to help us clean, and they did it willingly and with no grumbling (at least for tonight).

I know it sounds like a Patsy-Perfect family, but that is still far from the truth. I just see it as a lot of love and caring growing in the family. A comfort being found in the greater emotional stability. And, I am just so happy that I can actually see it and not take it for granted. That I can thank them and be proud of their efforts and not just overlook it as something that is expected.

Anyway, I have rambled way too long.

Peace,

Amy

Sometimes the Headache is Worth It

I am exhausted and achy and covered in three different color paints. But our 10-hour marathon session of painting was worth it today. The house is really starting to look nice. Too bad we are totally doing it for a mysterious someone else. What was supposed to be a weekend project suddenly became a Sunday-only project for us when DH had to make a service call to the coast yesterday and was gone all day.

That worked out because my MIL came over Saturday morning and helped me for a couple of hours packing china and toys in the girls' room. Then we had errands, that I am so far behind on. And, MB had a birthday party to go to. So, Saturday would have been somewhat of a wash anyway. Plus, I felt awful all-day-long! I ended up going to bed at 8:30pm, a totally unheard hour for me and slept straight through until 8 am this morning.

This morning we prepped the family room and kitchen and when MB and K headed off with their aunt to a basketball game we got down and dirty. DH tackled the Family Room, while I slaved over the kitchen. All we have left is to paint the area behind the frig, the shelves in the kitchen and the upper cabinets. Then we will be off to tackle the big girls' bedroom. There we have to strip a wall boarder and repaint. Then it will just be touch ups in the rest of the house.

I still have a lot of clutter to de-clutter and box up. We also have to decide which pieces of furniture that while they make our life easier and more comfortable, we can do without. Our garage is just about full, so we are going to have to make a decision soon wbout whether we are going to move things to Dh's sister's house or rent a storage unit a little bit closer to our house.

My goals for tomorrow:
- Actually have "school"
-Chinese New Year Craft Day Materials
- Box up unnecessary office stuff, clean office/den
- Start stripping wall boarder
- Finish data entry on work project
- Grocery Store

I am stressed, and I am busy, and sometimes I can't figure out if I am coming or going - but I am happy and really kind of enjoying it right now. I am such an adrenelyne junkie sometimes. This is the type of thing that, very rarely, I do miss about the job I used to have.

I will be very busy over the next few days, so if I don't seem to be around, it isn't that I don't want to be. And if I am posting it means that I am procrastinating on something else that I need to be doing.

Peace,

Amy

Nice Thursday

It was a nice Thursday - although I kept wanting to think that it was Friday. Maybe it is just wishful thinking on my part. I have been so busy doing this and that or driving here or there, that I am ready for the weekend so that DH will be home and I might be able to concentrate on something for longer than 5 minutes before being interrupted.

I had planned on getting up this morning and spending the hour to an hour-and-a-half that I normally have before anyone is up working on my work project. Boy was I surprised to find the two big ones already up and snuggling together on the sofa watching The Little Einsteins. The moment my feet touched the family room floor they were ready for breakfast. So, needless to say I did not get to do any computer work this morning.

We had gymnastics this morning. Always fun for the big girls. With EM walking running now, a lot of exercise for me keeping her from running out into the gym area. Boy, was she unhappy with me for finally locking her in the little play area for the last 15 minutes. But she would not let me hold her and when she was down, she was off running.

For Christmas MB received the Math Missions game for her Leapster. It seems to have been a popular game as a couple other friends also got it for Christmas. With that added incentive of how far have you gotten and how do you do level X, MB has played it alot in her down time. Basically they have all these different math 'problems' for 1-3r grade math. They do these problems to earn $$ to play other games. I have noticed that MB has made a huge jump in her money skills recently, but today in the car she floored me when she started to mentally do 3-digit addition. Carrying numbers and all that in her head. I really need to find a game for that thing that requires her to read to play!!

After gymnastics we came home for lunch and I let the girls watch The Sword In The Stone again. They love that movie and MB really has enjoyed the various King Arthur picture books that we have checked out of the library. I have in reserve an early chapter book that is a King Arthur and Merlin book that I hope will perk her reading interest once she is further along in her sight words. This allowed me to jump on the computer for an hour or so. After that long plugging in numbers I have to take an eye break - but K and EM had fallen asleep. So I figured no walk today and came into the den and (gasp) laid down on the sofa and closed my eyes.

MB woke me about 3:00 to ask if she could play with some friends. So we had kids come over this afternoon to play in the back yard, while I again, worked on the computer. (I really want to get this project over and finished with)

During this time DH called to tell me about the house he went to see today. He liked it, of course, and again I explained about our price range, of which this one was outside off. But, we did talk. which is something that we never seem to be able to do around here in the evening. And it looks like his plan is to want to put the house on the market in the next 3-4 weeks. So, fingers crossed we get it all done. The list of things to do is just terrifying to me. But, I am so, so relieved to actually have a plan to go with. That one of us has actually made a decision. Yeah - I can finish this project and really start packing up boxes.

Tonight, MB, K and I became accidental star gazers. I went out to get something out of the garage and saw a "shooting" star. I made my quick wish and did not think anything of it. About 20 minutes later I had to go bback out and saw another one in nearly the same location. I came inside and dragged the girls out with me. MB was the one that saw the next one. There were a couple more before we came inside. I jumped on-line to try to figure out what we saw but there really isn't supposed to be much going on right now. Watching all the stars got them interested in MB's planitarium globe - so I replaced the batteries and after their reading, the girls went to bed watching their sky and listening to the "Star" CD that came with it.

A little while ago I peeked in and the CD and Globe were off - they had listened to the end. But they were together in K's bed and MB was helping K with her Letter Factory Leapster game. As much as they try to drive each other crazy during the day, it is so wonderful to see moments like this.

What one may notice, yet again about our day is the lack of anything organized. We have workbooks and very, very relaxed lesson plans. But, boy do our days tend to go off on these tangents and when I look back on it I realize how much we have done.
- 3digit addition in the car
- Sight Word "hopping" game
- Checking on Crystal growing experiment
- Magnet - Science Kit
- Guitar and Lap Harp practice
- Read 5 pages in an Amelia Bedelia book.
- Astronomy (and some greek myths as part of the informational CD)
- Gymnastics

The girls also did coopoerative play, built a blanket fort, set-up a little people town and played with EM.

But, we didn't do anything today. I worked on the computer and took a nap. How could we have had time to do anything?

It was a good Thursday. And looking at the clock I realize that it is now Friday.

Peace,

Amy

Organizing Help - More Move Stuff

I am starting to become really aggravated with this whole move idea thing. Obviously patience during times of uncertainty of life's path is not one of my strong points. In fact, one would probably say that I replace patience with obsession. Anyway, I am trying to get back on track with the rest of my life.

DH is looking at houses in the town he is working in. I guess we have not given up on the hunt, but on the other hand my mental health cannot continue to take the stress of feeling like this is going to happen right this moment -- no, no wait. So, I think I have decided that I am going to have to live in our existing house and treat it like a rental home while we search. Paint most rooms back to neutral colors and deep clean - then just live in. No other major work.

I don't know if anyone understands how tough this is going to be for me. Since we moved into this house 8 years ago I have either been in the planning stages of a project or in the midst of a home improvement project. So, to just Be, seems like the hardest thing in the world.

That being said, regardless my house needs organizing help. I have done things here and there. But I would really like to organize the kitchen to make it more productive for a small space. Things like adding those extra wire shelves into the really tall cabinets, maybe a pot rack to get rid of the awful jumble of pots and pans. I want to buy a smaller microwave since ours is huge and 13 years old. I want to buy a new toaster over that I can mount under the cabinets. But, we are getting the house ready and getting rid of stuff - so can I really get away with adding more? But, we don't know if the search is going to take a year or more.

This is what is driving me crazy.

So, if anyone out there has experience in this or lives in rental property can you let me know how you handle this type of thing.

Peace,

Amy

Lesson Planning - my way

Tonight would be an interesting study in my lesson planning - when I actually do it ahead of time.

After the girls are tucked in - say 9:30 or so, I jump on the desktop computer while I wait for DH to finish playing a game on my laptop so that I can work on my project. While trying to avoid being sucked into the time-space warp continuum that is the internet, I remember that I have eight children coming over next Wednesday for a Chinese New Year Craft project. I head over to Enchanted Learning to flesh out my crafts for the day.

Wonderful, wonderful crafts. oooh look chinese numbers - that would be funto do with MB while we are, ahem, dwadling over China - PRINT.

Oh, yeah I need some Human Body sheets for our science unit that we really, really need to get started on. I wonder does her 6 year-old check-up today count as part of that science unit?? Body parts in Spanish - must PRINT.

Look, the monthly calendar. Let me see what I have missed introducing the girls to this month. Tomorrow is Paul Cezanne's birthday and they have coloring pages. Goody!! PRINT
Hhhmm, maybe I should go find some of his paintings on the web to show to the girls, instead of just announcing it is his birthday and here color one of his pictures. Google!

Viola - this awesome site that totally sucked me in - WebMuseum, Paris!! Go check this out.

I don't know, maybe this is a little too relaxed.

Peace,

Amy

Where Have The Days Gone

I can't believe that it has been almost a week since I have posted. My days have just kind of vanished into thin air. I have been busy and trying to do better with getting some sleep. Although, that hasn't been going too great.

My mom was up this weekend for a quick visit. I had to chauffuer her on Saturday to a function in Charlotte. She does not like to drive after dark, and has a very bad time with the glare from lights and all that. So that was nice - just mom and I for 6 hours in the car (three each way).

I started painting this weekend, the entry and family room areas. We decided to paint over the really dark, dark stained molding and doors in these areas and then paint more neutral colors. What a difference! Part of it is just having clean walls. But, I didn't realize how shut in the dark crown molding made the house feel. There is still a lot of painting to be done, I still need to do the kitchen - what a pain!!

I have been alternating my time between painting and working on my work project. That is going slowly, but at least it is going. I am about 24 hours behind right now in my schedule. But that is okay as I planned in some extra time, just in case.

Mom helped me out with trying to do these two projects by taking K home with her. So, K is having her extra, special mamaw time. We are very blessed to have family and grandparents that are so involved in our lives. My mom takes one or the other of the older girls several times a year. She will take EM too in about a year or so. My MIL has been awesome these last few weeks in coming over and being with the girls so I can go do this or that. Today she is coming to pick-up MB and EM so I can have uninterrupted paint time.

The more interesting news on the house front is that it is looking more likely that we will not move right now. It has been a quandry going back and forth since we started looking at houses. We just honestly don't like our options out there right now. Nothing has really compared to our existing house and the location we have. Even though the houses are generally larger in overall sq. footage, they don't feel as large and everything is cramped up. The locations for both Randy and I would require more driving on our parts. It just doesn't feel right.

But, we are going to continue with fixing our house up and doing some of the things I have been wanting to do all along. I am painting and it is looking wonderful! The things we have boxed up, except the books will remain boxed up for the time being until we make a decision whether or not we need it anymore. I am sure in a year or so Goodwill will be receiving a rather large household goods donation from us.

We are not going to stop looking out there, and we are not going to settle for only okay. The next house we move into will probably be our long time house and we want it to be something we really like.

I better go try and get somethings done before the girls wake up. We have to go to the museum today and then painting all afternoon!

Peace,

Amy

Thunder In the Winter

We have an old wives' tale around here about thunder in the winter. If during the winter months you have a thunderstorm, no matter how minor, within 10 days you will have snow. Well, this afternoon we had one heck of a thunderstorm. So, I figure that the intensity of the thunerstorm might be forcasting the strength of the snowstorm - I'll go ahead and start stocking up on the bread and milk. Seriously though, it might be an old wives' tale but at least 75% of the time we do have some type of wintry weather within a couple of weeks of a winter thunderstorm.

Today was an interesting day. I guess, in some ways I am starting to feel like we are getting this whole homeschooling life thing. I woke up late, around 8:30, from all the staying up too late I have been doing. EM, woke shortly after me. But, the other two slept until 9:30. Giving me some time to work on a little more of my work. For one reason or another it took us until 11:00 to start doing anything that coulc be considered 'school.' And then it was a math card game called "Dump" - similar to Go Fish, but using pairs that add to 10. After that we reviewed all of her sight words today by having MB jump from square to square on the rug as she got one correct. Out of 40 sight words there were only 5 she did not get within 10 sec.

After lunch, MB realized that our neighbor's granddaughter was out of school for the day and staying there. So, I let her go play. It allowed K and I to have some much needed one-on-one time. We pulled out the play-doh and made letters and snowmen. We counted to 10 in english and spanish (unfortunately that is about all the spanish I can muster).

I managed to jump on the computer for another hour or so, before I had to race around the house sweeping and cleaning the kitchen since MIL was coming to watch the girls for my appointment.

Around 5:30 we finally pulled out the books again. MB and I laid on the floor in the den and tackled Math (measurements) and reading comprehension. EM was having a very late nap - but for some reason this whole walking thing has screwed up her whole sleep cycle. K, not wanting to be left out came in and sat on the back of my legs while I was laying on the floor. She didn't bother us and I could just reach back and give her little tickles every now and again. As uncomfortable as that sounds, it really pricked an area of my heart that made me sigh. This is what homeschooling is about for us. The closeness, the doing what we need to do - when it bests fits in.

I have also come to a decision that I am not going to get stressed out about when MB finishes a workbook or curriculum. For example, someone was talking to me about how far behind they are in SOTW and how they may not even finish it before the end of the year. She asked how I was doing it. When I told her that we had just begun Chp 10 and we have spent up to 3 weeks on a certain topic she was stunned. But it doesn't matter to me when we finish SOTW I, we finish it when we finish then we start II. If it takes us until next Christmas, that is fine. It is not like Ancient History is really part of NC's curriculum for either K or 1st graders.

I am starting to become the same way with math and reading and science. Whether we finish sooner or later - it doesn't matter. It only matters that we do it in the way that works for all of us.

Coming back from the Christmas holiday (3 weeks) I am much more relaxed about the whole deal than before. I don't know what has changed my perception of the whole thing, but I am not so tied up in being an example or making MB and K be walking report cards of our homeschool. That just doesn't matter to me today. What mattered was the joy and happiness I saw reflected in their faces today and the joy and happiness I got from watching them and being silly with them.

By the way I have started using 1-2-3 Magic again. I used with MB a couple of years ago, but K was too young then. Since then I have been very sloppy with it, and although I can still use it to catch MB's attention, K just tends to ignore it. So, I told them that we were going to start it again. I have only had to count to three with MB once in the last three days and that was tonight when we first began trying to work on schoolwork, but she had promised me that we would do it this evening. She whined and whined and whined - had her 6 minute timeout and came out happier to sit down and complete her work. K is testing it, I can tell. But, she is picking it up quickly. The wonderful thing, for me, is that I do not become drawn in to the arguments and emotional response of the day-to-day challenging behaviors. That was/is a very hard thing for me.

Another busy day tomorrow.

Peace,

Amy

Picture Post

Since it is late, again. And, I just uploaded pictures on my camera from Christmas and today. I figured I would just share some pictures from the last month.

Christmas 2005


The personality of my oldest two are readily apparent in the next two photos of their Santa gifts. It is jus such a perfect example of how their personalities could not be more different.



MB showing over her stage moves with the new guitar.


K - as our Southern Belle

Emily had great fun with the bows over at the grandparents. She went around pulling all the bows off and sticking them to different areas of her body. The most hilarious was sticking them to her head. She would look and study the bow and then stick it to her head. Then she would look up and try to find it above her.



As an added bonus in this photo a rare glimpse of me. I am the one to the side in the black sweater and jeans.

Here is MB and her beloved uncle. Uncle, a wonderful and gifted musician is showing her some easy chords on the guitar.



K and her love of dress-up. She received a beautiful wood stick horse and red hat. She also got a pair of pink cowboy boots. Hee-haw!!



Christmas was truly great and wonderful this year for all of us. What a wonderful memory of a day just to be with the five of us.

Trip to Museum Today

Today MB had to go to her class at the museum. Since they were holding it in the Butterfly/Insect house I figured it would be a good time to get some photos. I stayed with K and EM while MB was in class. We enjoyed the bugs and playing with the carpeted steps and puzzles. Then we walked through the butterfly house together after class.

Here is EM showing how adorable she is.



Gee mom, why do you keep interrupting me while I am trying to empty out all these puzzle pieces.

K examining the insects eating under the microscope.



Oh Goodness, What is this?

MB - The butterfly magnet. Everytime we go in the butterfly house she always gets a butterfly to land on her. She can even get them to come to her in our own yard. It is the only time I ever hear her utter the words - "If I am still and quiet..."



This tickles

After the butterfly house we returned to the main museum, where K immediately ran to the tornado thingy. She sat there waving her arms like she was conjuring and conducting the tornado to rise up.



It was a very good day. I was exhausted and we didn't actually finish MB's math until 6:30 tonight and never even touched history. But, it was a good day. All, and I do mean myself included, were well-behaved.

Tomorrow is an "at-home" day and I am looking forward to it. My mil is coming over in the afternoon so I can go to an appointment and run over to Lowes for painting supplies. I am hoping to get alot more done on my work project at some point tomorrow.

Peace,

Amy

That is Why There Was a Line

I woke up this morning feeling energized and actually ready for the day. Yipeee! So after breakfast we hopped in the car and began running errands. First stop Post Office - not a parking spot to be found and people lined up out the door. I pulled through wondering what was up with that. Our post office isn't that busy the week before Christmas. Can you tell that I have not been watching the news. Postage went up over the weekend - where was I?

Needless to say I did not chose to stand in line with my three children in tow. I will just have to go by tomorrow for stamps - because I really need to get bills out tomorrow.

Next stop library. Honestly, I have been kind of avoiding the library recently. EM managed to get her hands on a book before Christmas and just tore it up before I realized what she was doing. I sorta forgot about it for awhile, even though I have been meaning to take it in and face the "fury." Since it has been so long I decided to order a replacement of the book to take in as an apology. So, I am waiting for it to come. Anyway, found out today that while the library doesn't really care how much in fines you keep amassing, if you don't return a book after5 months they don't let you check out anymore books. I find that out standing at the self-checkout with at least 25lbs of books (I know this because it kept trying to tip over the stroller with EM in it). I tell my sob story to the librarian on duty and she lets me check out the books, although this means I don't get to do a final review of the books the girls put in the bag. So, I am sure we came home with more books than I meant to. But we have more books.

Errands finished and home for lunch. Eat, put EM down for nap and begin schoolwork. We managed to: (1) reading comprehension workbook; (2) Review sight words and introduce 10 more for the week; (3) Begin Ancient China History Unit. MB did not want to do math today, which is a real switch from normal. Since this isn't generally a problem with her, I did let it slide today - but told her that tomorrow she was going to have to do 2 lessons.

After we finished the "school work", MB really wanted to begin one of the crystal growing kits that she received for Christmas. I have been gently trying to dissuade her since I am trying to reduce some of our clutter - but she has hung on. So I figured we can let it grow for a couple of weeks at least if we do it today - so we did. MB chose to try to grow a "Frosty Diamond." She listened to the instructions, which is kind of a newer thing with her. She does not tolerate me trying to get her to listen to the full instructions - she wants me to read them and then just tell her what to do. But, we read instructions and talked about measurement. She collected rocks for the bases and cleane them. She did most of the measurement for the experiment. It was very nice, it makes me think that it is time that we stepped up more kitchen experiments, after we move.

While we were doing the crystal experiment, K had found one of the empty packing boxes, crawled insie of it and was having the time of her life coloring in one of her "workbooks." Since she wanted to do her school when I finished with MB, I told MB to find one of her library books and have quiet reading time for 15 minutes. Then K and I played a couple of games and looked through one of her library books.

The afternoon was playtime. The weather was wonderful and we went out to swing and run. I blew the humongous pile of leaves off the back deck and then read for a little while. Then I found out that I had the go ahead to start my new freelance project, and oh yeah they need it as fast as I can get it to them. So, I came inside and did set-up before EM woke.

So the rest of the day was more playing, working as I got moments, cooked dinner and cleaned off the kitchen table (again).

It is way too late, and I really did not mean to write this much. I must go to bed if I am going to function at the museum tomorrow.

Peace,

Amy

2 - Things MeMe (per Jess)

Jess at Captured Thoughts has asked me to do this meme. And, well I have been kind of lazy and slacking and somewhat consumed by various house fantasies. So, here is my attempt.

2 names you go by:
1. Amy
2. Mommy (said repetitively in the loudest voice possible)

2 parts of your heritage:
1. Irish
2. Scottish
(but not Scot-Irish)


2 things that scare you:
1. Tornadoes (I can't even watch the beginning of the Wizard of Oz)
2. Heights

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Tension Tamer Tea
2. Lavender-Scented Hand Lotion

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Jeans
2. Sweater
(My personal uniform)

2 favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. Third Day (love their new album)
2. Def Leopard (I have pulled out some of my old high school rock music and have been doing house work to the music - it energizes me to do all the hard labor)

2 favorite songs at the moment:
1. The Sun is Shining - Third Day
2. Lord Move, Or Move Me - FFH

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. Simple touches
2. Ability to trust with all your heart (I've kept this from Jess)

2 truths:
I feel like I have laid all my truths out their recently in my blog, I don't know what else to share
1. I don't make my bed
2. I am not sure if I am ready for a move or not.

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1. Humor
2. Eyes

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Poetry
2. Reading

2 things you want really badly:
I am just keeping Jess' - souns good to me
1. A bigger home
2. A family vacation - just fun, no visiting!


2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Ireland
2. A Cruise (just me and hubby)

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. Find peace and serenity in my life as it is each day
2. Be published

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
1. I sulk
2. I like to take long, hot peaceful baths


2 things you are thinking about now:
1. How tired I am an how early I have to get up to get the girls to the museum tomorrow
2. What I am going to write in my post about tomorrow

2 stores you shop at:
1. Grocery
2. Target

I don't know who to tag, so if you want to share let me know so I can come read :)

Peace,

Amy

That was Fast

This weekend has flown by. It has been a very pleasant weekend, not nearly as warm as they keep saying it is going to be, but very pleasant all the same. I got boxes on Friday from my SIL, so my job on Saturday was to start packing up some of our loved but not necessary items. What we pack now means less to pack in the future (near future, I hope).

So, Saturday afternoon I packed away books and knick-knacks, puzzles and games. Some of the favorites right now were left out, but the rest packed away for the time being. DH organized the garage so we could put the boxes in there and still move around. It feels very, very strange to be packing up when we have no destination in mind. No time table, no nothing. Yet, we know we are going to do it at some point.

This morning, all of us were feeling somewhat lazy. So we slept in and enjoyed our morning. We took the day off from church, since next Sunday, Sunday school starts again - I figured it might be the last one for awhile. At 12:30 we meet the real estate agent to tour another house. This is another one in a "community" neighborhood, albeit a different community than house #2. We really liked House #3. The layout was nice, it was in excellent shape and the yard was okay. The yard was not absolutely detestable like house #2, but still had no fence and did back up to the main neighborhood road, although the house sits on a cul-de-sac. The general feeling is that while the house is a possibility to us, it probably will not still be on the market when we are ready to start dealing. And, TBH, I still think we can find something better out there, especially if we wait until Feb. which is the beginning of the house selling/buying season.

What DH and I have discussed though, after viewing these last two houses, is that with the girls the ages that they are and their love on being in the road riding bicycles, scooters, and so forth, that maybe a planned community is the way for us to go right now. The advantages being that there are generally sidewalks, cul-de-sacs, play parks and swimming pools. We lose a lot in yard space, but the girls rarely use what we have now - always wanting to be out in the street. We are going to be spending time doing a cosmetic work to this house before we put it on the market and I really don't want to be spending the first few months in a new house doing the exact same thing. So, basically, house #1 is not as likely as it was last week. I still love the house and especially the yard, but I don't think it is what fits our family needs.

Our plan is to keep working on the house and keep working. By the first of Feburary we should either have our house on the market or be ready to. Then, hopefully, it will only be a short time until we are ready to offer for whatever house is meant to be ours. This evening I went to Lowes and picked through paint chips - beautiful creams and taupes to paint those neutral colors in our house. I am hoping to start painting the moldings this week. Then next week when K is with my mom, maybe really knock out the main part of the painting in the kitchen, family room and girls' bedroom.

Tomorrow, it is back to life in normal. Schoolwork, trip to the library and other such things.

Peace,

Amy

Stepping Off The Fast Train

DH and I talked tonight, about the house and how things were going. We have decided to step back for awhile and assess. We are probably not going to do anything towards purchasing a new house in January. Instead we are going to spend this month packing and painting and fixing little things to make the house look more sellable. But not sink too much in at first to leave room for the punch sheet after contract. We want to keep looking. The split-level is large with a great yard, and it is still a strong contender, but we want to see what else we could possibly find.

We have to weigh the pros and the cons of a newer house vs. older house. We are living in an older house and there are just things that constantly have to be done. Older neighborhoods around here don't generally have things like sidewalks and community areas - but they also don't have homeowner fees to pay for those things. Older homes are not going to have large master baths with the garden tubs, because well it is a bathroom - you brush your teeth, sit on the throne and take a shower.

But we have to see what is out there. See if there is something we fall in love with before we jump on the first option. Plus, I really don't feel like trying to patch, paint, pack and toothbrush clean my house in a week to get it on the market. So, a month sounds really nice and leisurely to me. Especially now, as my end-of-holiday-season adrenaline is crashing out of my system and I am falling back to the harder, emotional place I was before Christmas. In some regards I feel like I have way too many areas of my life spinning out of control. I have found out what was important to me to find out. (1) We can secure a loan for a house and (2) our house should sell fairly quickly. That comforts me in many ways. Now, I feel like we can take our time a little bit. The pieces are there when we want to pick it up and run with it.

If we wait until Feb, I should have a better idea of the details of our finances for the next year and hopefully our check from Uncle Sam. I got a call today from the company I was doing some work for last August and September and they have another project for me to work on if I am interested. That will be nice, right here after Christmas.

So, lets step back and see how crazy I am:

1 - I homeschool. Three girls (6,3,1) In most circles that classifies me as crazy right off the bat.
2 - I have re-entered a recovery program for an addiction and am experiencing the emotional roller coaster from this and the slips over the past few months.
3 - At 22 days sober I am in the middle of trying to coordinate and plan the sale of a home and purchase of another
4 - I am going to start working from home again (although for a limited time)

Yeah, I am brilliant.

No need to tell me I am trying to do too much. I am aware....

Peace,

Amy

Good Mommy Award

Well, I will not be expecting their call anytime soon. Yesterday I totally flunked at doing the mommy thing. The day started off well enough. We woke up and talked a little, decided to pick up breakfast on the way to the meeting, dressed and left. Ran by the bank to pick up paperwork, then a meeting. Except for EMs love of the Christmas Tree (I will be glad when they take that down) the meeting went well, the girls played their leapsters and then with some of the other toys. Towards the end they (MB & K) began to chase each other, but that is about normal.

Then gymnastics where I figured I might get a few minutes downtime as EM normally takes a nap and the two girls are busy. But, EM decided that today she did not want a nap. She wanted to sit on the floor, bounce on her rear and fuss, loudly. Other than that she wanted to play houdini escaping into the gym area.

We got lunch on the way home. I put EM down for a nap and turned on a DVD for the girls to watch. We ate and then I laid down to try to watch the movie with them. I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew the movie was over and MB was asking if she could go outside. I let her go and then went to try to find K. Found her her in my recently cleaned and organized bathroom giving herself a bath in the sink, using handsoap. I get her out and clean up.

All this time I am having squirrely thoughts that don't have a thing to do with the kids. But I am trying to focus and not let them take over my thought process. But this isn't working too well. I try making calls, spend some time in prayer and then when EM wakes up decide that a walk would be a nice thing - Exercise those thoughts right out of my head. I give her a snack and outside we go. Only to be meet at the end of the driveway by MB, her friends and their mother, coming over for a visit. No walk for me. Inside to visit.

Outside I am cool, calm and collected. Inside my anxiety level is rising, the record player that is my brain sometimes won't shut off and I am stuck. Once the visit was over it was dark and I wasn't getting a walk. I looked around the house and realized that as nice as it looked a few days ago, that the kids had pulled all of this stuff from their bedroom and scattered it around the house.

We entered total and complete chaos yesterday evening and DH had to be out for the night. The girls had nothing on shortly after friensd left. They chased each other, MB making K scream as only she can. This ear piercing, I am going to die scream that she can hold until you want your ear drums to burst so you would not have to listen to it anymore. They found their way to my bedroom, got into my jewlery box which is a HUGE no-no. While I am trying to focus them I discover that while EM is just barely able to string three steps together, she is an expert climber. And wants to practice that.

I managed to have them stop long enough to feed them. I sat down and tried to play a game with them, but everytime I went to retrieve EM the bigger two were back at it. I had it. I screamed, I stomped my foot and told them to go to their room. I went around the house and picked up every single toy they had dragged out yesterday, dumped it in the middle of their room and told them to put it away. I did not want to see them out of their room unless they needed to go to the bathroom.

I feed EM her nightime bottle and put her to bed.

I hate, hate losing it like that. I tried to engage them, I tried to play with them. Yet, they were bound and determined to push buttons and run and scream all evening. The stress of so many things last night and the inability to really do any of my coping "exercises" really made for this big explosion (at least to me).

With the girls all in bed before 8pm, I managed to go to bed about 10:30 or so - but ended up spending an hour writing in my journal. But still managed to get more sleep than I have recently.

It is time to tackle a New day.

Peace,

Amy

Back to the Grind and Other House Stuff

I should probably break this into two posts, but since I am being lazy I won't.

We received really good news today. We got a loan!!!!!! We have a prequal letter for any house and full approval for the house we are actually interested in at this time. I was amazed when I heard back from our bank this afternoon, because I had just dropped the loan application there at 11:30 this morning. I thought he was calling to let me own gently after looking over the application and finally stopped laughing. Yeah - I really din't have much faith that we were going to get the loan from our credit union, they still won't let me have a creit card. But, no - we have the loan. So to sum up where we are and the decision we need to make:

1. We have a house that we like. That is the right size and priced somewhat lower than it should be due to the '70s decor. It has had inspections and the major things are fairly new and working.

2. We don't mind making cosmetic changes as long as we can live and function in the house while doing it

3. We have been informed by two reputable realtors in the area that our house is in good shape and should sell within a month with only minor repairs and cleaning to prepare it. We should also be able to get what we need out of the sell. (Although not as much as I really kind of wanted)

4. The bank has approved us for a loan and locked us in at 5.25% for the next 60 days.

So, what is holding us back?? Fear. I fear that this house won't sell, no matter what others have said. Of course, I feared that we wouldn't get a loan either. So, I guess I can't trust my fears too much. I wonder how I am possibly going to keep my house clean and decluttered while it is on the market. Three kids, two dogs and a lazy nature. Recovery, homeschooling, life and trying to actually maintain my house in 'show' order.

We may or may not have more news on this front later this week. We have some hard thinking to do.

In the midst of all of this we have restarted school again after the holiday break. Yesterday was our first day back and we have had no problems these last couple of days (knocking as hard as I can on my wood desk). We went to MB's science class at the museum yesterday. She really enjoyed the class and had fun. I was pleased with how well K and EM did playing in the museum and listening to me while we waited. MB really wanted to stay after the class, but we had arrived early and visited most of the exhibits and I was really, really hungry. So, next week we are going to take a picnic lunch and stay after the class.

After we came home we had lunch and then started working in the new reading workbook I am introducing. MB loved it. It does not replace our read aloud times, but gives her the workbook format she likes while focusing on reading comprehension. I am hoping that this gets us over the hump from phonics (sounding everything out) to fluent reading. We are also continuing the dolche word practice that I began late last fall. We are using flashcards and a workbook. Each week we are doing 2 units (about 10 words). And we are continuing the horizons math program, which so far we still like.

These are the three daily actvities that I see us doing. MB enjoys it and it allows her to practice working independently, which is a good thing for MB.

I need to get to the library to pick up books to start our science unit on the human body and ancient chinese history. But with the chaos we might be experiencing over the couple of weeks trying to get the house in shape I am almost afraid to bring library books into the house.

That is life and the inmates are starting to become a little cranky and I fear for an uprising roon.

Peace,

Amy

It's Too Quiet

It is too quiet around here. DH took the big girls to a b-ball game and EM is already sleeping. I am trying to enjoy the peace and quiet, but my mind is racing around too fast to enjoy. We had agent #1 come to look at our house today and discuss our options. So, yeah it could be possible. I sound pretty convinced don't I.

I don't know why, but now I am doubting the ability for us to purchase a new home. Evrybody keeps tellign us it is possible, but I wonder how smart it is. Of course I tend to either be dreaming or conjuring dark storm clouds. I have a seriously hard time thinking in moderation. So I am swinging back and forth on this.

We need to visit a couple of lenders to find out finally if this will be possible or not. See we don't spend a lot of money on extras which allows us to sink more into a house - but I know lenders may shy away from us due to our income. Our credit is wonderful, but I know that doesn't mean anything if we don't make the magic number X per year. For some reason this is tying me up in knots, even though logically I know that the worse they can say is no. It is not like we don't already have a house that we can live in for awhile longer if necessary. Saying no to a home loan will not change our life from the way we are living it today - but for some reason I am stressing about it. I have become too attached to the whole idea of moving.

The suggestions from the agent on selling our house includes:
1. De-clutter (yeah, I told you that would be number one)
2. Update kitchen countertop and stove (yep, knew that would be there too and glad DH heard it)
3. Paint, paint, paint
4. Remove carpet from EM's bedroom and expose hardwoods under
5. Buff hardwood floors (I wonder how difficult that is going to be)
6. Move furniture around in Family Room so that French Doors can be used (We just got the furniture placed in a way that we like)

What wasn't on there but I know we need to do it

1. Clean backyard (the kids and dogs have bad habits of leaving things out there so it looks like a shower of trash has descended on it)
2. Fix electrical issues in Garage (after an electrical storm 5 years ago we lost our overhead lights in the garage)
3. Have carpet cleaned (Heck, I need to have the whole house cleaned by someone who actually knows what they are doing)

All these thoughts. Maybe I need to go put this nervous energy to use by cleaning out something.

Peace,

Amy

Book Hoarder

During this whole organization/de-clutter phase I am in I have found it very easy to let go of things - goodwill, trash, etc. Until, today. Today I hit the bookshelves. The bookshelves in the office/den, the built-in whole-wall bookshelves in the family room and the bookshelf in my bedroom. All I ended up doing was re-arranging the books. Moving them from one room to another so that they fit better. I even unpacked yet another stash of books and added them. I cannot get rid of books. No matter how torn, tattered or how seemingly useless they may seem in my life right now - I cannot part with my dear, treasured possessions. But, they do look so much better now.

I did much better in disposing when cleaning off my desk and when DH and I together attacked the hall closet/arts & craft storage. We cleared out three garbage bags of trash. We are trying to decide how much of a "New Years" tip we need to give our garbage men this week ;)

While wading through the 2-tons of baby food jars, plastic containers and modeling clay DH turned to me and said "You know the first thing the real estate agents are going to tell us we need to do is clear out all the clutter."

The good news is that we are almost done with this phase of the project. I have one more cabinet that I would like to clear out tomorrow. And, I may go try to find something to use to organize under our bathroom sink. Then, I am done until the agents tell us what else we should do.

MB was begging me today to start school again tomorrow. She is ready to get back to our routine, or have a new routine. I really need one more day to focus on the house, but I hope to be able to maybe pull out something and sit down with her. Tuesday we start straight in with a class at a museum. So, we are basically starting where we left off with more outside the house time than home time.

I am drained, so I am going to bed.

Good evening all,

Amy

Our Latest Walker

One more quick thing I wanted to share this morning. Last night, New Years eve, EM decided that she would start trying to take her first steps. We were over at a friends house playing cards and in an attemp to try to get to where the big kids were playing EM was attempting to walk. She can take one or two shuffling steps before falling down. Her butt scoot that she developed instead of a crawl is so fast and efficient that she has not had the desire to stand up an walk. But slowly she is deciding to try it now.

Just wanted to share that big milestone.

Amy

Happy New Year

Well, another year has come and gone. Another baby has experienced her first year. We have been homeschooling for over a year now. This past year has been interesting, tough and yes, even fun. We have had excitement, sadness, love and anger. All, in all we have experienced life in all its forms and truly for that I am thankful. I am learning that it is true that it is through brokenness that I do become more able to experience true joy - the joy that comes from loving God. The joy of gratitude and love that can exist even in the most trying of times.

And, so, my family and I will begin this new year on the cusp of even more new and interesting adventures. I am just beginning my new journey towards greater healing and growth. We are looking for a new house to become our home as we continue to grow as a family. In homeschooling, we are entering our second year and are becoming more and more relaxed about it. DH and I have not even discussed entering MB in school next year - it has just become a non-issue now as we are enjoying all the benfits of this lifestyle.

I do not generally make New Year's resolutions. No real reason - but I generally don't. But I want to post a prayer that I am going to try to live each and every day of this New Year. It is generally referred to as the Third Step prayer in the circles I hang out:

God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

My other goals for this year include: doing the right thing for the right reasons and living a intentional life while honoring those around me for the people that they are (not who I want them to be).

*************************************

So, onto more basic and mundane things. We are still working on the decluttering and reorganizing the house. I am even morefocused on getting it done with the real estate agents coming next week. Yesterday, I focused on the girls' closet. I took down the old closet organizing system that just wasn't working for us and put together a new, very simple one. I pulled everything out of the closet and sorted it. When I was done the shoe pile was cut down to a third and organizind very neatly on the low shelves for the girls to see exactly what they have. Only the few dresses that they will actually wear were kept out. Another large bagged was readied to donate and several bags to put away for hand-me-downs. When K saw the closet, the shoes and how neat everything was she almost vibrated from the pleasure. You would have thought Santa had come again. Yes, she will probably be the 'neat' one.

I am happy with what I have accomplished. Unfortunately, they are things like closets, which are not in my line of vision all the time. The bookshelves in all the rooms still need to be sorted and rearranged. The table is piled high again and our office could be marked as unsafe territory. But, we are getting there. After church today, it will be laundry and books.

Here is to a year for peace and grace in 2006!

Amy

Decisions, Decisions

Well, we began our new house search today. This morning we left the girls at home playing with their grandmother and cousins while we went to walk through house #1. House #1 is a 5 bedroom, 3bath 1970's split level. We went with every expectation of the house not living up to our expectations. We wanted in some ways for the house to cry out to us "don't buy me." Honestly, that didn't happen. From the time we walked in the front door and up the stairs to the main living area I could see us living there. I could see our furniture there.

It needs only some cosmetic work. The walls of the main part of the house are pink. Lots of pink in that house. The two bedrooms downstairs are both paneled and would need to be primed and painted if we were not energetic enough to rip the paneling down and hang sheetrock - I am not Dy. The bar downstairs is uggglyyy and will have to be yanked out. But, the big things (roof, water heater, furnace and major appliances) have all been replaced within the last 12 years.

The eat in kitchen could not really be an eat-in kitchen for all five of us. But, can hold a small table that a few of us could eat at. The attached dining room could be used for dinners, when all of us sit down to eat. But the kitchen is large enough for elbow room for two cooks - which is better than we have now.

The yard is huge, and when we have our yearly snow would be the best sledding hill.

The storage is great. Big closets in every room, attic access and a laundry room/storage area as large as our family room right now.

We left thinking that this house is a definite possibility. I could tell from DH's body language that while he was not ready to sign any papers right then, could see us in that house. But, it is also the first house we have walked through. So, we left and told the agent we would talk to him after the holiday.

When we came home DH, himself, found the flier I had printed on another, newer house, that actually had a better location for us. He called the agent and scheduled us for a 4:00 walk through. This house was also 5 bedrooms, but had about 150 less square feet. He took the girs to hit golf balls and go to the park while I worked on some things around the house. Once EM was up from her nap we headed out to drive by another possible house. As soon as I drove into that neighborhood I knew we would not be interested. The neighborhood was very inconvient for DH's commute and it just felt wrong. So I could mark that one off my list.

Then we headed over to house #2 for the walk through. The neighborhood was great. Lots of amenities. The house was on a cul-de-sac and was really nice looking on the outside. The yard was horrible. A huge ditch running through the backyard, no fencing, only some scrub bushes separating the yard from a road (not a neighborhhod street). That lot was supposed to be the same size as our lot now. There was no way unless the next door neighbor put his fence on half of that lot. The interior space in this "huge" house seemed downright small. Not even cozy, but small. I don't think our furniture would fit in either the living or family rooms. The kitchen area, although it was supposed to be much larger than the house #1 seemed cramped and the 'eating area' would only fit a small round table - and then if you didn't plan on accessing the pantry.

The only space in that house that had any size to it was the master bed and bath. And athough I would love to have the bath, the bedroom was wasted space. It had two walk-in closets, one of which was larger enough to serve as a nursery for a baby.

Neither DH or I liked the house from the time we walked in. This one did scream at us "don't buy me!!"

So, what do we do now? Next week we have two different agents coming to our house for a walk through to let us know what they could do for us in selling our home. What projects we need to complete and what we coud just ignore. I guess because of the tremendous growth near us and the stability and success of the local schools; when we told the agents what neighborhood our house was in both were practicaly salivating. If DH and I were convinced we could get X amount and sell the house relatively quicker, then we might speed up our search. But, being convinced is the key word. Both DH and I hate pressure, that will turn us off quicker than anything.

We have to decide whether we want to put the house on the market and hope that we find a house that we really want before this one sells. Or, find a house that we really like, make a contingency offer (if the sellers would even accept one) and hope that our house sells quickly for what we want/need. How does anyone find the happy medium in making that choice?

Off to do some thinking.

Peace,

Amy

My Head is Thumping

We are going tomorrow morning to walk through the possible house. Tonight, I am ready to buy it sight unseen. Why? Well after today I am thinking that a house in which I could put the children all downstairs and still have an entire house upstairs at my disposal sounds like a wonderful idea.

The noise, ohh the noise that they will make. I make it until 3:00 pm, then my head just starts to thump and thud, pulsating from the inside against my skull. I call for quiet time, and retreat to the den. But that just seems to signal for yet more noise. My girls cannot walk or run quietly, it sounds like a herd of elephants moving through the house when they get going. I beg them to please go outside and play - it is 55-degrees and sunny. I promise them they will enjoy it. K runs and hides from me in her room. MB heads out and returns just five minutes later with a friend. To play at our house. To play Twister. They need someone to spin for them.

I just want to let them play. Let them be loud, and messy and run. I really don't care, except that I hurt and EM is finally asleep. I need a basement. With a lock on my side.

We did have a good morning. Everyone up, bright and happy. We dressed and had breakfast while I put together the "Guess Who" game, that was not a Christmas present - but just appeared in the game cabinet. 45 minutes of punching out little plastic pieces, feeding paper slips through the plastic pieces, and seperating paper game pieces without tearing them. We played for 20 minutes. Then off to a meeting.

Home for lunch, and more game playing. We played more of the Guess Who game, some Don't Break The Ice, an Uno. Finally, a phone call interrupted us, so that I could escape move on to some chores and chasing EM around while the girls settled in to watch the Peter Rabbit/Beatrix Potter CollectionDVD that someone got for Christmas.

Today has been a bust on the whole clean and organize my house front. I manage to put together a drawer system storage thing for my closet only to find out that it was too tall. I can never visualize size correctly in my mind. So, I moved it into the den and am going to use it to organize the extra homeschool - school materials that we own - notebooks, notebook paper, pencils, crayons, etc. I just grabbed an extra plastic storage bin and stuffed all my knitting things into there for now. DH is off for a four-day weekend, so I am hoping to get much more accomplished by Monday.

Next week we begin school again! After almost a month off I am looking forward to it. I am sure that the first couple of weeks will be a struggle, but I am thinking that MB is looking forward to it almost as much as I am. I still don't have a lot planned out yet, and probably won't for the first couple of weeks.

We are signed up for a science class in January at a local museum and we will have our science club on Thursdays. We will get right back into the math workbook and start studying Ancient China. I am going to begin using more sight word/spelling word worksheets this 'semester' in addition to our daily read aloud. MB received a human body model that needs to be constructed and since it is too cold for me to drag three children through the woods to look at bare trees, we are going to move on into studying the human body until March or April. We now have recorders (3) and a beginners music book for recorders, so we will add that to our weekly schedule. MB received a guitar for Christmas and I would like her to spend some time every week practicing the chords and techniques her uncle showed her.

I guess I have more there than I thought I did. How we are going to do it is a whole 'nother ballgame.

Have a great evening I am off to daydream about that dungeon basement and read a mindless romance novel.

Peace,

Amy

A Beautiful Surprise

One of the benefits of cleaning out the clutter from all those hidden deep crevices in our house is finding lost treasures. While pulling some stuff my mom had brought up for me that I had stuffed in a previously unreachable corner of a storage cabinet (who really needs a pair of 7-inch wide black metal crab-shaped candle holders) I found a baggie with a bunch of sticks in it. Pulling it out I wondered why do I have a baggie with a bunch of sticks. Then I thought that maybe it was some more cedar sticks that mom had given me to use for storage. I opened in the bag and dumped the "sticks" out to find this:






A beautiful, hand-carved crech figurine set. Obviously from overseas somewhere - and we have no earthly idea where they are from and who gave them to us. Obviously I never had any idea what they were or I would not have stuffed them away so thoughtlessly. It was a wonderful find - especially this time of year when I could set them right up on the mantle.

And, if anyone does have a need for those crab candle holders, let me know.

Peace,

Amy

I am still progressing on the organizing job. There are areas that look really nice, not the office/den that I am in now, but a few areas. Yesterday I finished my part of the master closet. DH still needs to weed through his clothing, but I am down to only using about 2 feet of the rod and a shelf and a-half. I have actual floor space in our walk-in closet. I can actually walk in our closet now. When DH came home last night and opened the closet door he said, "Oh Sh*t!" Which in this case I will take as a compliment. I was so psyched up about the closet that I continued on cleaning off the dresser area. Then I just sat on the bed for several minutes and admired both the closet and dresser. My bookcase area in the bedroom now needs to be added to the list as it looks bad compared to the other areas in the bedroom.

Last night my ankle began to ache an throb again. I took a nice, long hot bath after the children were in bed. And today I am not really planning on doing a lot. It has been my reasses day.

Today I unloaded 5 30-gallon trash bags full of clothes at Goodwill. It was a popular place, as we had to wait for nearly 20-minutes to turn the stuff over. Everyone must be trying to unclutter their houses this week. I wish I could have the time to wander through the store itself, as they look loaded. (of course there my problem may be - I am trying to get rid of the clutter in my own house and coveting the clutter other people have gotten rid of)

Then we headed over to BJs so that I could pick up some misc household and foo stuff. I found a very nice canvas drawer rolling storage thingy to store my hobby (knitting and crossstitch) stuff in the master closet. It looks so much better than the plastic things I was planning to use. I also found a closet system to put in the girls' closet. Their closet system was installed by the old owners and has to be the most poorly designed closet system to be used for childre. basically, except for one rod that I can put their dresses on, I cannot reach any of the other shelves or rods. So everything just ends up in a heap on the floor (Sleeping bags, shoes in storage for the nxt kid, ect.) I will probably tackle their closet tomorrow.

We are getting ready to head over to my sil's house so she can watch the kids for a couple of hours while I go to an appointment I have this afternoon. So, today is really shot for completing anything new. If I just finish up a couple more loads of laundry before I go to bed I will be happy.

Peace,

Amy

Organizing and Planning for 2006

Just before Christmas struck us the idea for moving came up again. Both DH and I feel like the walls are coming in at us in this house. This was never meant to be our forever house, or even our long-term house. It was our starter home. Now, three kids later, we are really starting to feel pinched.

Part of the problem is me. I am horrible about getting rid of stuff. I do it, but I never seem to be able to get rid of enough stuff, or organize the stuff we are keeping so that we use space wisely. Homeschooling, and all the accompiant stuff has made it even worse this year.

So, last week during one of my 'let me just look through the on-line listings for what is available' moods I came across a house that is a strong possibility. It this first house that has made my husband sit up and say "call the agent and see when we can walk through it." It is 5 bedrooms/3 baths and has lots of interior and exterior space. And even more amazingly it would be something we can afford right now with only the slightest monthly stretch, if even that. DH has also said that I do not need to get my hopes up. He realizes that we need something larger and is ready to make it happen, but we really need to like (love?) the next house. And if it isn't something he feels 100% about we are not going to do it. But at least we are looking. We are going to hopefully go see the interior (we have already driven by and looked over the neighborhood and yard) on Friday when he is off from work.

Until then, we still have to tackle the clutter and the organizing of what we do have. Especially with the new Christmas and birthday things that we have gotten this month. Friday night as I was sitting and fretting over how messy and cluttered the house looked and how I was out of places to stuff things, I finally did something new. I actually went to my husband and said "help!" So he gave me some ideas and we discussed how we use certain rooms and closets. And then told me that with his four day weekend this coming weekend, he will physically help me sort, organize and dispose of the stuff.

Now, I know four days, with 3 children, is not going to be nearly enough so I started on it yesterday. So far I have:
Cleaned out the closet in EMs room, which was being used as general storage.
Rearranged furniture in both EM's room and the big girls' room
Made EM a play area in her room
Moved all misc toys back into MB's and K's room from the Family Room
Moved board books from the family room cabinet to EM's room
Reorganized board games in new cabinet space
Bought and placed new area rug in Family Room to replace old one (a puppy casualty)
Bought and put together new storage cubes to use in family room to store educational toys
Began sorting my clothes in the master bedroom closet

What we still have to do:
Reorganize all book storage throughout the house - move my books into Den to allow for homeschool stuff in FR
Reorganize art & craft storage and other homeschool materials
Make room in master closet to store my craft/hobby supplies
Move mine and dh's music collection from family room into den
Reorganize the girls' closet, maybe set up new closet organizing system
Reorganize the family room cabinets that hold board games and coloring supplies
Generally clean and find an appropriate home for everything!!

If we can figure out the best way to store all the cr*p we own, then half our battle will be done. I still think we will have to move. MB and K sharing a room just isn't working out. K is such an introvert I don't think she is comfortable sharing with anyone, and she is also 3 and drives MB nuts. MB is entering the phase of wanting some more privacy and places to put her very own special collections without sisters messing with them. So if anyone has some ideas of how to meet the needs of these children while they are still having to share a room, please let me know.

The movie is over,and I promised hot chocolate.

Peace,

Amy

Best Christmas Yet!!

I am awed and amazed at how wonderful today was. I have been really, really dreading Christmas since Halloween. Nothing like living in today, huh. My mood for the past few months has left a lot to be desired and I just was not really prepared for the whole holiday season.

Yet, over the last week or so I have slowly felt myself coming back to life again. And today, with my expectations set fairly low, wow!!

MB is six now, and she totally gets the whole Christmas thing. I thought last year with her was good, but this year it just wasn't about getting anymore. She wanted to buy presents for everyone, she wanted to be included in the wrapping of presents, she waited patiently for others to open their presents and then played along with her sisters showing them how to use their new toys.

This Christmas was also the first, in our entire married life that DH and I either did not have family staying with us or had traveled to family. It really made a difference. No need to entertain anybody other than ourselves, no need to referee, no need to get dressed before 1:00 pm.

Our day started off a little after 7 am, when I heard EM jumping in her crib, chattering and throwing her stuffies out. As I walked down the hall to get her I heard a crinkling sound from the big girls' room. And when I came out to the family room K was asleep on the sofa (she migrates there every single night) and MBs stocking was missing from the fireplace. Shortly MB came out, somewhat sheepishly, to tell me she had woken up and just had to see what Santa had left her. Then she saw the note that Santa had left for her. She began jumping up and down. She was so excited over that note, more so than any of her toys and candy at that point. She woke up K and we were off to the races.

We spent sometime with the Santa stuff before we moved on to the family gifts. DH and I have realized this year, that except for one or two specific items and clothing, that it doesn't really matter whose name is on the gift or whose pile Santa leaves it in, the girls all see it as community property. Both K and MB, in conversations to grandparents, explained to them all the things that we got. Not I, but we. I love that. The girls really do not mind sharing anything in the broad sense. We struggle with the immediate sharing (I am playing with this toy right now and don't want to share it at this moment) but rarely is anything mine. Of course, I think I may stop the whole struggling next year of sitting down and trying to determine who should get what toy, and instead just throw everything in a big pile and let them determine who gets what.

This afternoon, when it became apparent that the girls were ready for further entertainment we packed up and headed over the in-laws for the dinner and the evening. We took a few chosen gifts to show, and that the girls were not quite ready to part with. Of course they received yet more. And we spent the evening playing with those. With two grandparents, two aunts and one really playful uncle the girls were in heaven. MB learned some guitar basics from her musical uncle, K showed off her "very own" leapster and EM was just really cute.

While we were opening presents EM raced around and grabbed whatever bows she could find and stuck them on her head. Yes - she stuck them on her head. Then she would laugh and clap. We were rolling. Who needs presents at this point. That was just wonderful.

K had already received a pair of hot pink cowboy boots that she fell in love with immediately. From my SIL and BIL she also received a red cowboy hat and a wooden stick horse. Her evening was spent riding that horse through the house shouting Hee-Hawand Gid-up.

MB got board and party games!! We played Twister (which if one is recovering from a sprain this is a game to be avoided) and Pictionary Jr.

The biggest hit of the evening was something that my mom had actually given K. A magnetic Mandala board and pieces. Everyone at the in-laws sat down at one point or another to try to copy some of the patterns. It is quiet and relaxing. MB has fallen in love with it.

We came home around 7:30 with sleepy and happy children. It id not take us long to pack them off. EM only drank half of her evening bottle, before deciding that she would rather sleep. Then K decided that she needed to cuddle with daddy and promptly fell asleep laying on top of him. MB and I cuddled in the reading chair and read until she asked me to stop so that she could go to bed.

Everything is quiet. The house seems very happy tonight, messy and very happy. Tomorrow, we drag Christmas for another day. We will go back to the in-laws to do Christmas with another SIL, BIL and nephews. Five children, ages 11-to-1 will be running through the house and playing. It will be chaotic and great to watch.

Peace,

Amy

Happy Christmas To All

I don't know why when I sit down at the computer recently I just can't think of anything inspired to write. We are still waiting on the girls to fall asleep. Every now and then MB cries out "I am asleep, is Santa here yet?" So since we wait I decided to hop on the computer for a little while.

Earlier this evening MB and Katie got together and wrote notes to Santa which they stuck in their stockings. Now I just need to remember to write them back.

I spent my Christmas Eve doing all those things that I have been procrastinating on. Went shopping this morning. First with MB as she suddenly decided yesterday that she had to buy gifts for her sisters. I think it is wonderful - but I just wish she had decided this a little sooner. We went to the dollar store and found several little somthings for the girls. After that I dropped her back off at home and headed to Target to buy all the things I had not been able to get to because of my ankle. This included EM's birthday present (a new forward-facing car seat) and stocking stuffers. Amazingly the store was really not that crowded. The grocery side was very busy, but every where else in the store was nice.

I came home to an afternoon of wrapping and finishing the photo montage I did for the in-laws. DH took the big girls to church for the children's service. We were all going to go together, but EM has a Christmas cold and finally went down for her nap shortly before it was time to go.

We had a very quiet evening, pizza for dinner and plenty of old, old christmas cartoons on the tv. With my girls it is a better idea to keep the evening as low key as possible, otherwise we would never get them to sleep.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. MB (6) and K (3) are going to be so much fun together this Christmas. I think we have done a fairly good job of limiting the amount of gifts this year so that we don't go through the whole overload thing we had last year. Because we ended up doing all the extended family gifts with our gifts - we ended up having to unwrap in three sessions. This year we have been able to spread it out much more. Yeah!!

I hope that everyone out there has a wonderful day tomorrow.

Peace,

Amy

Better

This week I am doing so much better. I believe the SJW is starting to kick in and for some reason life just doesn't seem like such a struggle. Last weekend I stayed very busy and even started a few organizing jobs around the house.

My clumsiness kicked in Sunday evening and I ended up spraining my ankle badly on a curb trying to load my car.


So for EMs first birthday I was on crutches. I have just had to laugh about it, because if I don't I would probably just get more stressed out. My mom came up for a few days to help out with the girls since I could not do a lot with them on crutches. Today, I can limp around without crutches so mom has headed home to get Christmas ready for my sister and neice.

EM turned the big "1" on Monday.

It is so hard to believe that my baby is a whole year old now. She is such a character who loves to make us laugh. I was so worried about having a third child - but she just fit right into the family.

The rose that is on the table in the picture above was cut off our rose bush Monday morning. The weather has been so cold and nasty around here, but when DH went outside Monday morning he found this single rose bud on the bush. It is EMs birthday rose.

So besides laying around and healing my ankle, we have been busy. Having someone else around who insists on doing all the household things (although this too has been difficult, given my control freak nature), has allowed me to just spend time with the girls. Playing games and reading with them. The things that I can do while sitting on the couch. It has been nice to just be able to devote some time to them. And, my anxiety about being with them, that I have experienced over the last couple of months has gone. I am so loving that.

After Christmas I am going to get together with another HS mom who I have really clicked with. We are going to work together in helping me kind of plan our next three months of school. Honoring who are children are in their personalities while also teaching and leading them. I know, real commonsense things - but it will be nice to sit and go over things with her because she sees my girls a lot and sees them from a different perspective.

I am starting to look forward to a New Year. A change and a new start on things.

I will leave you today with a picture of EM that I took a couple of weeks ago.



Peace,

Amy

Sorry...

I said that I would be back on Monday and here it is Friday. I have been having a pretty tough week and have spent very little time on the computer. We are on winter vacation, so no real organized learning is going on right now - which is a good thing since my mood has been so very dim.
This week, after more than 6 weeks of fretting I decided to try St. John Wort. Hopefully in the next week or so my mood will stabilize a little.

MB's birthday was on Tuesday - she is 6. I can't believe how big and grown-up she is becoming. Unfortunately, Tuesday was the pits for me. But, we managed to pull together a family party. MB and I made her cake and she wanted to decorate it all by herself. My in-laws came over for the party. So, thankfully, it was nice and relaxed.

She received a pair of in-line skates and then we had a couple of freezing cold and rainy days - so she has been skating in the house. Driving me to insanity. Today it was sunny and warmer so I have made her play outside.

I am sitting here trying to get into the holiday spirit. I need to clean my house and on my list for today I am supposed to wrap four presents - but it just isn't happening.

This post is just too moody, so I will end it here. I will check back in soon.

Peace

Amy

Waiting on the Plane

I have been really bad about getting on-line this week. It has been a tough week on a lot of fronts. The main one being that we have been without hubby and daddy this week. But, I have been so very blessed with people helping me with the girls and providing warm, dry places where we can go play and hang out so the days (and nights) don't seem so long.

The girls have been really great. They have had their moments, but not nearly as ba as I had imagined it before. Now, we will know what to expect in January when hubby has to do this again.

Hubby should be home tonight. He had plane problems and issues with getting other flights so they are actually coming home 24 hours later than planned. And, to finish off the week I had to take MB to the doctor today to find out that she has strep.

I cannot believe all the relief I feel over just surviving this week. I did not realize I was dreading it as much as I was.

School is done for the year, unless MB asks for us to work on something (like she did at the docs today). We have reviewed and I feel really good about what we have accomplished, especially considering the Fall that we (I) have had.

We will be spending the day tomorrow with DH. So, I will be back on Monday.

Peace,

Amy

Really Late Night

I have an admission to make; it is almost midnight and I still hear my girls going strong in the bedroom. I am finding out that I am really bad about bedtime when I don't have a husband around that *makes* me want to put them to bed. Having them up with me helps hold off the loneliness of being the only adult in the house at night. But, I am going to pay for this!!

Other than a minor anxiety attack in the grocery store today, I have had a good day. My MIL came over about 10 am (2 hours earlier than I expected) and sent me out of the house for the day with orders to do my Christmas shopping without children. I am done with the presents for the girls, but still had a few things left to get for some grown-ups.

So, I headed for the meeting that I had been packing up the girls to go with me to. That was nice to sit in that meeting without constant vigilance on where each of the girls are at any particular time. Then off for some shopping. Did not find any presents there, but did buy a few books for me ;) At the rest of the stores I had more luck. So, except for some bird seed, a shirt I have to order for my dad and a few gift cards - I am done!! Happy Dance

I got home in time to take the girls down the street to a neighbor's house for a tea (hot chocolate), after-school party. They played while we moms chatted. The neat thing about this is that the kids hosting it are boys (5 and 7). But they all had a blast!

Then a quiet, right, evening at the house.

Ahh, shhhh - quiet. I think it is time I sneak into bed and spend a few minutes reading and journaling before I fall asleep.

Peace,

Amy

There is just so much grace floating around me right now. I am being very blessed.

I cannot remember Saturday - I have no idea what I did or what the girls did.

Sunday I took MB and EM with me to our new church. DH took K to our old church. Have I ever mentioned that DH does not like change. Except for the fact that we were meeting in a different place, with a different name it felt like normal. It was wonderful being around my church family and friends. We are there and we are together and that is wonderful.

After church, we spent the next few hours just being with daddy and helping him pack. At some point my anxiety began to build. I started making calls, trying to find a babysitter so that I could make a meeting. I still had not found anybody when it was time to leave for the airport, but when I got pack I kept calling. Finally I reached the mother of our teen/afternoon babysitter. This wonderful mother, with no idea what-so-ever of what I needed a babysitter for, said that even though her daughter was out she would come over and keep the girls for me. I felt like someone had given my heart a hug. Shortly after that my MIL called back and said she would come over. But, still the neighbor mother was just so great to offer that.

I made the meeting, and it was just what I needed. God blessed me there, last night. By the time I came home, except for the migraine that was building from the earlier anxiety, I was almost entirely anxiety free. It totally left me able to be nice and 'with' the girls. I let them stay up late and watch the movie they had started with grandmommy. They were surprisingly easy to put to bed and by 11:00 the house was quiet. Too quiet.

This morning continued to be peaceful and easier than I had anticipated. Except for an argument over who I was going to sit with and cuddle - since they refused to sit on the same sofa (the answer was neither since they were arguing), we had an easy, lazy morning.

This week is our last week before a holiday break. So, we are reviewing sight words and history that we have covered over the last couple of months. Since we are in the middle of a science unit we will just keep going with that. Our math program does continuous review, so we are good there. After today I am feeling good about the amount of material that MB is retaining. So, we will keep doing our thing until the end of the week, and for the next three weeks play it by ear. If they start acting crazy and needing some structure, or actually asking for work I will throw some their way. Otherwise, mommy is taking the time off to prepare for holidays, birthdays and general craziness.

Sis-in-law is coming over tonight to sit with the girls while I go out to my meeting. Then, MIL is coming back Tuesday afternoon so I can do some shopping. Honestly, I feel as though I am getting more 'alone' time than I normally do. But, I will just consider this my pre-christmas gift.

Off to cook dinner for all.

Peace,

Amy

Autopilot

This week I have felt as if I have been trudging through mud, physically and emotionally. I find it absolutely amazing that most days things are getting accomplished. Not everything, and not all things well. But we are making it out and about, school is still cruising along in autopilot right now, and the house is liveable. Some things are becoming more enjoyable, while other areas I am just trying to ignore right now.

I am becoming more able to be with and touch my girls again - which for some really, really strange and odd reason would cause me to have anxiety attacks a couple of weeks ago. I still have not figured that one out -- and it really freaked me out, realizing what was causing the anxiety attacks. Since the attacks have disappeared for right now, I am taking advantage and spending as much time, individually, with each girl cuddling and doing things that they want to do. In a way the attacks did cause me to reflect upon what a precious time it is in their lives, one I do not want to miss.

I have to focus on being in the 'here and now' which really makes me in what is actually going on right at the moment with the girls. Before, I would often multi-task with them. My mind would be on the one-hundred tasks I needed to do in running the household, while I would be building a block house or reading a fairy tale. But, I don't even have the mental energy for that anymore, so I just really focus on what is right before me.

These two things, though the result of a very difficult time, have resulted in very nice benefits. I can't believe some of the small things I was missing out on by not fully concentrating on the girls when I was with them. Growth in maturity and abilities of all of them.

MB is really growing into her own. And, in general, I am so proud of the little girl she is becoming. Most of the moodiness and temper that we struggled with just a couple of months ago has gone away. She is helpful and in general agreeable. She is not so ready with an argument, although more than ready to negotiate about anything. The help she provides to her two sisters and myself cannot be measured.


As difficult as it might seem to be home all day, homeschooling, during this season of my life, it has become my light right now. It actually gives me a reason each morning to crawl out of bed, to cook and eat meals, to try and find fun things to do each and every day. It is hard for me to say, but without the girls I honestly do not know where I would be right now in this depression. Because of them, I cannot let go and just drop into the abyss. I have to put one foot in front of the other and as Dorie from Finding Nemo puts it "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."

So, in an attempt to make myself feel better about this week, let's look at what we have managed to do.

Wednesday

Finished cleaning house, made brownies and set-up craft project for afternoon co-op. Due to illness, only one other family came. It was okay, because I think that one other family was all I could do this month.

Had an actual, non-family member, babysitter in the evening so that I could attend my first therapist appointment this time around. MB and K, love this girl. So, we will probably start using her on a regular basis for appointments and to just get a break. She lives in the neighborhood, on our street and her mother is at home. She also has a younger sister who, not ready to babysit on her own, would make a really good mother's helper. We will just have to see how much sanity breaks our wallet will be able to afford.

Thursday

Attended science co-op in the morning. The first class in a month because of travel and sickness in the group. MB loved it and loved seeing her friends again. Then straight to gymnastics. I love gymnastics class. It is much larger than it was when we first started in September, but the mothers and father are really neat people and I do enjoy spending an hour each week with them.

After gymnastics we came home and all 3 girls collapsed. MB, did not actually go to sleep, but did lay motionless on the sofa for nearly two hours. I had planned on going straight into schoolwork when we got home, but I reconsidered after seeing how tired everyone was. So we took a two hour break. We got a couple pages of math and Dolche done before the neighborhood friends came to play.

Friday

The one morning that we really could have slept in this week, everyone woke up early. We made pancakes together and did some laundry. Then knocked out math and a couple history worksheets we still needed to complete. Then packed up and went to a meeting. The girls are getting used to being at the meetings. EM loves to charm everyone and is constantly trying to get the other two babies to play with her. K is in heaven with all the other 3/4 yr olds there. MB, does not like it the most because everyone is younger than her on most days. But, she is adjusting. She alternates between working Word Find puzzles, coloring and entertaining EM.

After the meeting we came home for lunch and a quick movie. EM went down for her nap, so MB and I played some card games from our Rightstart math program and K watched her movie. After five games I had reached my game playing limit, so we moved back to schoolwork. MB read me half of a Rookie Reader Science Reader on migration, then I read from One Small Square - Woods. We answered the science questions and discussed the project we are going to try to do tomorrow.

We finished up the week with a new activity I have been trying. On Fridays, MB has to pick something from history, science or a story we have read and draw a picture of it then write one or two lines. We generally spend some time reviewing the week together and let MB decide what she wants to do. Then she draws the picture and writes the sentences. I am trying to gently remind her to try and sound out words she is unsure of, but still help enough that she doesn't become frustrated and give up on writing again.

Tonight she finished reading the first chapter of a new early reader book. She is up to 12 completed books on the reading wall. At least half of these are actually early chapter or multi-story books. Once she reads 20 books we will take her and a friend out for pizza.

It is the end of the week, and I am flat exhausted by trying to hold it all together for the week. I am looking forward to a couple of days of dual parenting. I will get away to a very cool meeting tomorrow morning, before everyone wakes up, and then maybe escape for a little while later in the day. Still have some shopping to do for my extended family.

DH leaves Sunday evening for a week-long business trip. He never has to travel so I am totally unused to the experience of single parenting. I have mixed feelings about it. I am scared and a little anxious about being ON duty, by myself, for a week. Trying to figure out how to get my breaks in there. But, I have to say that I am kind of looking forward to letting things loose for a week. Mac 'n' Cheese and chicken nuggets for dinner - Sure, everyone curled up and reading in bed at 10:30 - Okay!! So, I guess we will see how it goes.

Peace,

Amy