I am really, really glad to see this week end. It was this time last week that I felt as though my life was about ready to spiral out-of-control. And it kind of did. But there is sunlight on the otherside of the darkness and I am starting to see the faint edges of it.
I am definetly not ready to start-up school again full-swing, but that is okay because we year-round anyway. Truthfully, this weekend it has been very, very difficult to be with the girls. My nerves are on edge, and I have had to remove myself many times just so I wouldn't say or do things that I don't want to do. Still I have found myself sometimes being mean in tone or even actions. Not good.
They say it is darkest before dawn. And I had a very dark day yesterday and into this morning. A close call with my own recovery, and just a general pity party. I made it to a meeting and then to church this morning, although I had to walk out during the final song (Your Love is Amazing). It is my favorite song and I just couldn't handle it this morning.
I did some meditation and praying and writing this afternoon which helped pick up my mood. Then another meeting. I am now tired, but I feel better.
This week my mother comes up. I am not sure if I want her to or not, but it has been planned for a long time and it is too late to change. She is staying for the entire week. Good and bad. Tough.
We are also having our first SOTW I arts & crafts CO-OP here at my house - which is a pigsty. I have to clean and air out all the puppy smell. I don't know why I agreed to this.
Okay Monday - come on in.
Peace,
Amy
Is that AA meetings you are referering to?
ReplyDeleteI have been battling with the devil this week too....we will find a way through with the love of our Lord
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ReplyDeleteAmy, hugs. Please call me anytime if you need too - just e-mail me for my number. Part of the kids may be that MB has been away so much lately that it's hard to re-adjust. I know when I have my nights out I treasure and love every moment but I find the next day the hardest of the week. Maybe you're suffering a little of that?
ReplyDeleteHugs to you - our God is bigger than the "boogeyman" as my kids would put it. Blast some christian music, read some books, get outside. EVerything will seem brighter.
As for the co-op at your house, just think how nice it will feel afterwards with a clean house and great memories! :-)
Jess
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI will not respond here for anonymity reasons - probably for the same reason you are anonymous. But if you would like to email me - you can find it under my profile I would be glad to share with you what I am able.
Jess - If I get my house clean for the Co-OP, that will be a miracle. And yes, the christian music has been blasting. I am finding that I have to have that link right now.
Amy