Changes

I am not normally bothered by changes. Do things differently is a spice of life. But when so many emotionally charged changes come flying my way my flexibility and ability to adapt well tend to go flying out the window.

This Fall it has felt like one change after another. Some minor and some pretty huge. I almost need a record book to keep up with them all.

Yesterday was a difficult change for me, especially moving into the Advent season. We attended our last church service with the church we had helped to plant, beginning over 5 years ago. Because of differences that we have tried to resolve for the last 18 months with the governing bodies, the pastor and most of the congregation is leaving and it looks like forming a new church outside of the denomination.

"Yea!," I say to that because this is not the first time that as a member of a church I have run into issues of politics and $ that seem to be more important than how the church functions in its role as a family and serving the Lord. I am just about done with denominational churches. When man-made traditions become the most important aspect of a church's life it is time for me to run.

That being said, this is a difficult time to be without a functioning church family. Oh, I still have the church family I had two weeks ago. I know how to get up with most of them and they will still be there as a church family - just without the 'church' for a few weeks. But, Advent is the most special time for me. The whole season is beautiful and meaningful. The celebration is much more important to me than the actual celebration of Christmas Day (as it has become).

This year I am going to try and turn my family's focus away from the Christmas Day to a month long celebration. We are going to make advent wreaths, we are going to have nightly advent readings and actually do an advent calendar. I have also let my family know that this year it is just going to be me, DH and the girls. With the soap opera going on in my family right now, I don't want to be involved in the stressful family issue Christmas celebration. I talked to my mom this weekend and tried to explain, nicely, to her why we don't want to spend DH's holiday time traveling and how we would appreciate it if everyone would just relax over Christmas and just let it happen this year. I don't know if I made my point, but at least I got it off my chest.

This Christmas is a time for DH, the girls, and I to bond and come closer together. This is what we need.

This weekend I got out an bought most of the gifts for the girls. We have two birthdays just before Christmas also, so I got the gifts for those. It looks like the girls each are getting one 'big' gift and a few smaller ones. This is enough, with all that they will probably get from grandparents and aunts and uncles. The big gifts are something special that I know they have wanted for a long time. It felt good to get that shopping done.

In other news, EM is pulling herself up and standing alone for a few seconds at a time. She is trying to walk with her push toys. So I might have a third walker by Christmas.

K is spening a lot of time drawing. She gets into so well and will spend a lot of time on one picture explaining the story as she draws. It is just amazing how she has gone from circles and scribbles a few weeks ago to drawing people with facial features and clothing in the last week. It is funny that her people have more detail to them than MB's. I believe that there is a learning style difference that can be picked up on how detailed someone draws a person. But I will have to look it up. K has also really gotten into copying her letters recently.

MB just keeps going. Her reading is improving. More in speed and reading inflection than anything else. She has taught herself a lot of math outside her math book. And both my mom and I noticed that she can follow simple recipes by herself. We have been super slack on Science and History and I am hoping to get back into it. Even if over the 'christmas' holidays we only have science one day and history another each week.

Probably more important than what MB is doing academically is how I have noticed her attitude. She seems happier and is more willing to help out. She doesn't try to fight me on things as much as she was. Her voice tone and volume has decreased when we have 'discussions' and life is a little bit calmer around here.


I am having high energy and low energy days which is common for me when I am in this type of funk. But the overall mood seems to be improving. I am really concentrating on the things I need to do for myself, which is making it easier for me to deal with those around me (not running and hiding away from them). Very importantly, I feel as though I am coming back to my relationship with God.

With Thanksgiving coming up, it reminds me that we have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Peace,

Amy