Wednesday, June 20, 2007

There are times she drives me bonkers!

I love my first-born. I really do. But sometimes she makes me want to drive a sharp object through my brain and just get it over with. She knows we go back to school at the beginning of July. I told her. I explained that we have been off having fun since the second week of May, it is time to get back to things. She has even been making requests of what we can study and all that.

Yesterday Mary and Katie went swimming with friends of ours, and while the little ones napped I managed to get Mary's plan sketched out for the first four weeks. I sat down to explain it to dh last night and Mary overhears us and starts whining. "I don't want to do it." "All my friends are on vacation, I want a vacation too." "This is too hard." "Why isn't Katie's filled in yet?" On and on, the normal 'let me find any argument' I deal with sometimes.

DH gave me a look with his eyebrows raised, which said "this is why I think she should go to public school." The on-going argument around the house over her attitude.

I leaned over to Mary and said "I love you." (this is a new technique I've been trying to diffuse my temper at her attitude by starting off with 'I love you' and it does seem to be working as it calms both of us down.) Then said, " you are just fishing for anything to argue over?" She grinned and nodded her head. "You are going to do the work anyway, right?" Again, she grinned and nodded. Then she went on and on about how if she just works on her work it would probably take her half the four hours I've alotted for summer lessons and she could get out to play that much earlier.

Of course dh missed most of this conversation as the whining drove him into the kitchen. When he is around she HATES doing work and is dying to go to public school. When its me, you would think I was talking about abandoning her to the wolves when I mention public schools.

On and on she went last night about the only thing she *wants* to do is watch tv and how she aspires to be a popstar. All I can do is just sit and stare at this strange child sitting in front of me. The first time I saw her actually sit in front of the tv this week was when she came home yesterday afternoon from 2 1/2 hours at the pool. She wanted to lay on the sofa in front of the fan and watch tv. She only managed to do that for 15 minutes before she went back outside to play. And, the popstar thing, is a totally peer initiated desire. Mary has never, never been one to sing and dance around. She takes after me and barely remembers the words to most songs.

I need to get her off somewhere and do a peer decompression on her. Before I am driven INSANE! Personally, I had a blast the week she was grounded a couple of weeks ago. After the first day I got me daughter back and we had lots of fun. I'm just at a loss sometimes about this whole friend/peer relationship dynamic that Mary has going on. I NEVER liked people enough to jump through all the hoops she tries to.

Today we are packing up and then heading for the beach tomorrow morning - at least the children and I. The big girls are going on a weekend trip with their cousins and Grandaddy. I'm going to hang with my mom and the little ones. Hopefully I'll be able to finish the planning for the eight weeks of our Summer school. I'll try to maybe check in if I can get access on one of the computers down there.




Deb said...


Mary reminds me of my older daughter Madison, 7, sometimes, in her temperament. Your new strategy that you describe in this post was reminiscent of one I just started using, which I describe in my own blog post here:

Having a little secret just-between-us phrase that captures our relationship and reminds my girl of what is really important has worked wonders.


Melora said...

What a shame that she complained about starting school in front of your husband. He must see that "less than desirable" peer influence too, though. If it makes you feel any better, T. sometimes has had "rock star" on his list of future jobs, and he has always been at home. K. also enjoys singing pop songs, and remembers a lot of words (last night it was the "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," Over and over, after she heard it as the background for a yogurt commercial one time on tv). Not that peer influence can't be bad (it is one of the reasons we homeschool), but some kids just are singers!

The weekend trip sounds like fun, and hanging out with your mom with the littles should be a nice break for you! I hope you get the rest of your planning done and can enjoy a wonderful start to your new year. (We are starting again, after a week and a half break, the beginning of July as well.) Judging by what you've written in the past, M. really does enjoy learning with you. Sometimes it just seems like they Have to choose the most unfortunate times to make those silly comments, eh?

A family of six living and learning. You might catch us outside in the mud or working on crafts. We always seem to be on the go, come on and join us.