The last day that seems 'real' to me was a week ago today - Sunday. Since then I feel like I have been living in a dream. I don't feel like I can reclaim my equilibrium before something else happens. My life is reduced to hour-by-hour decisions, while also trying to think ahead about when we need extra help to watch the girls.
Thursday night after watching my alma mater (NC State) beat Florida State - Go Pack!, we flipped on the news only to find out all the sirens we had been hearing during the night were for the chemical fire going on about a mile away from us. About that time we started hearing pops, like distant fireworks and watching the sky light up red with fire. Then we received the call to leave our home. We had a choice to stay, but then we couldn't leave later. Since I am running to the hospital every three hours it wasn't really an option for us.
Quickly we packed up what we thought we would need for the next day and put out food & water for the dogs. We really thought we would be back by the next afternoon when the wind changed direction. We went to stay over at my in-laws. Unfortunately, we couldn't get back home until Saturday. I had to go shopping for clothes and shoes (forgotten in the rush).
Saturday morning when we were given the 'all clear' DH dropped me at the hospital for junior's morning feed and came home to see how much dog 'stuff' he needed to clean up before we brought the girls home. When he came back he told me that a tv camera crew had asked to film him and HE LET THEM INTO MY HOUSE! Can you imagine what my house looks like this week - now add in two dogs cooped up for 36 hours. He told me that it was an upstate NY station - okay I won't kill him this time. Later that afternoon our neighbor called us to say that he had seen my husband on MSNBC - three times and had taped it.
My emotional state right now is as up and down as junior's sugar levels. The best news of the day is that he is off the bili lights. Unfortunately he is not responing as well to the reduction of his sugar drip and has had to have an umbilical IV insterted. Then today, they had to re-insert the umbilical IV. If this doesn't work he will have to have a direct line catheter inserted. We are hoping, that since today he has really, really started to eat more and is nursing well 3x's per day - that maybe that also will help with his sugar stabilization.
Right now he is only on breast milk because he did not respond well to the formula they were trying to supplement with. The doctor's and I are happy with that. But, he may need more heavy duty vitamin/mineral/protein supplement which would mean an additional IV and additional time for weaning off that.
He does so well for a day and then backslides, it is difficult for us. It is so hard to watch and sometimes I just don't want to go there - I just want them to call me when he is 'all better'. I can tell that this is difficult for the neo-natal staff also. It isn't something firm that one can see and know exactly what will fix it. It is all based on how junior, as an indiviual, responds. Which means the treatment plan changes from glucose reading to glucose reading. There is a lot of "let's try this" and "let's try that."
The goal at this point is the end of the week. It depends on him maintaining his sugar and starting to regain his weight. I will try to update as I can.