Changes Afoot

I could really lay out a major vent here about moving. But, as a friend reminded me recently that I need to be grateful that I have things like houses, and caring family members, and the ability to be home during the day without working, and possessions - all to worry about. And, I am so very grateful for this gifts we have received. And, these are just all things, material items, mostly. I wish that this was a mindset for me in the most normal sense, but I have to remind myself over and over that my circumstances in life have no bearing on who I am and what I am to do with my life. I can only do those things that God has given me to do each day, I do not have the power to make other people be happy. I can do what I need to do and turn it over - then go do the next thing on my list.

It has been brought to my attention that I try to do too much in some regards. I see it when I take care of all the household things, just so DH won't have to be bothered - but often times that ends up just keeping him out of the loop and unaware. I am not being fair to him, even though my reasoning was that he works all day, he doesn't need stress here at the house. I also see it with my kids, in that I don't expect enough household help out of them. I found that doing it myself was easier. I don't generally have a 20 minute agrument about whether or not to pick something off the floor with myself. But making their life easier, isn't being fair to them either. They need to learn to be a part of a family, they need to learn to clean up and they need to learn how to clean.

I am not trying to look for a way to be lazy here, as there are many areas I need to improve on in my own life and in my own household areas. But, I need to stop taking on the responsibilities of others in the family. I can look at it two ways for me - (1) It is a control thing. I know everything that is going on and I can do it the way I want it done. and (2) A misguided sense of love and care. I really love my family and I want them to be happy. If I have the ability to make their lives easier why shouldn't I do it? (for answer see paragraph above).

The thing is the move is giving me the chance to practice letting go at all sorts of things. Slowly, DH is being brought into the loop and is having to face some things that he has needed to face. I am not doing as well - my fingernails are chewed down and I keep wanting to have update meetings with DH to make sure he is on the same page as me. But I am trying.

Also with the move comes a new home and a place with new rules. While we are doing things new, the girls are going to get some new responsibilities. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Peace,

Amy