A mother's insight

Or maybe this should be called a grandmother's insight.

MB being on this trip with my mother has really been great for all of us, missing her greatly aside. On of the assignments I gave my mom when she took MB off, I asked her to keep an eye on MB and see if she could discern some pattern to MB's attitude issues. It was a chance for someone to be with MB almost exclusively, that wasn't myself with all my preconceived ideas and emotional interest.

I was able to speak to my mom tonight without anyone else around. She was able to confirm some ideas I already had and also point out something to me that I might want to have checked by a doctor. The first thing she has noticed is that MB, definetly gets out of sorts when she is hungry. And she gets hungry a lot. She is a tiny little thing, skinny as a rail, in fact K at almost 3 yrs younger almost weighs as much as MB. Yet, she is always eating. Always complaining about being hungry. It is extremely annoying sometimes. I always thought that she got out of sorts because I would sometimes make her stop snacking so much. But my mom has noticed that she has about 1 1/2 hours after she eats that she is fine, if she doesn't have something else around this time her mood can change quickly. Mom thinks I should have her tested for hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). It just so happens that I had this as a child and during my pregnancies as an adult. It just never crossed my mind that MB might have it also.

The other two things I was already aware of but Mom really noticed drastic occurrences of it. She walked with MB up to a grocery store in sister's neighborhood. At sister's house and along the walk MB was fine, acting correctly and listening. Within moments of walking into the grocery store with all the floresecent lights and noises and colorful boxes, she said that MB was almost uncontrollable. After this short trip it took MB a while to unlock from this behavior, which of was not helped by the frustration my Mom was probably feeling from MB's behavior in public. Trust me I have been there. It is a circle. MB reacts to her surroundings, I am not thinking about them, or more normally trying to cope with my own sensitivity to the same things, I become frustrated with her and tense up then MB is not able to relax because I am wound up.

It just doesn't help that we have the same sensitivities.

Along the same vein, my Mom noticed at the zoo today that MB was fine until they would enter exhibits with a crowd of people. Within moments she would being pushing and whining until she could leave. Again, I know this. It is a tough one because she really wants to see what everyone else is looking at, but it stresses her out. She is not really patient enough to understand that if we are able to wait for a little while we could look at something after the crowd is gone. So that frustrates her even more.

This is one of the reasons I do not believe she would do well in a classroom until she either outgrows some of the sensitivity and learns more coping skills. She would also come home from preschool in a nasty mood, and that was from only spending 3 hours with 7 other children.

So, we do need to work with coping skills. And I am going to have to figure out how to manage my own coping skills while helping her and managing the other two girls. This should be fun!

Peace

Amy