Sunday, October 23, 2005

Week - END

I am really, really glad to see this week end. It was this time last week that I felt as though my life was about ready to spiral out-of-control. And it kind of did. But there is sunlight on the otherside of the darkness and I am starting to see the faint edges of it.

I am definetly not ready to start-up school again full-swing, but that is okay because we year-round anyway. Truthfully, this weekend it has been very, very difficult to be with the girls. My nerves are on edge, and I have had to remove myself many times just so I wouldn't say or do things that I don't want to do. Still I have found myself sometimes being mean in tone or even actions. Not good.

They say it is darkest before dawn. And I had a very dark day yesterday and into this morning. A close call with my own recovery, and just a general pity party. I made it to a meeting and then to church this morning, although I had to walk out during the final song (Your Love is Amazing). It is my favorite song and I just couldn't handle it this morning.

I did some meditation and praying and writing this afternoon which helped pick up my mood. Then another meeting. I am now tired, but I feel better.

This week my mother comes up. I am not sure if I want her to or not, but it has been planned for a long time and it is too late to change. She is staying for the entire week. Good and bad. Tough.
We are also having our first SOTW I arts & crafts CO-OP here at my house - which is a pigsty. I have to clean and air out all the puppy smell. I don't know why I agreed to this.

Okay Monday - come on in.

Peace,

Amy

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that AA meetings you are referering to?
I have been battling with the devil this week too....we will find a way through with the love of our Lord

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J-Lynn said...

Amy, hugs. Please call me anytime if you need too - just e-mail me for my number. Part of the kids may be that MB has been away so much lately that it's hard to re-adjust. I know when I have my nights out I treasure and love every moment but I find the next day the hardest of the week. Maybe you're suffering a little of that?

Hugs to you - our God is bigger than the "boogeyman" as my kids would put it. Blast some christian music, read some books, get outside. EVerything will seem brighter.

As for the co-op at your house, just think how nice it will feel afterwards with a clean house and great memories! :-)

Jess

Amy said...

Anonymous,

I will not respond here for anonymity reasons - probably for the same reason you are anonymous. But if you would like to email me - you can find it under my profile I would be glad to share with you what I am able.

Jess - If I get my house clean for the Co-OP, that will be a miracle. And yes, the christian music has been blasting. I am finding that I have to have that link right now.

Amy

A family of six living and learning. You might catch us outside in the mud or working on crafts. We always seem to be on the go, come on and join us.